I probably had the most perfect text book pregnancy anyone could have asked for. Other than being pregnant in Alabama in JULY and looking like a swollen watermelon; I really felt great. (I do however have stretch marks on my ankles from my ankles getting so huge...who does that?)
Never a problem.
I had the typical, can't sleep, need to pee, starving, uncomfortable days...but aren't those NORMAL!?
I had joked the entire pregnancy that I was cutting Caden off at 8 pounds. My sister had an almost 10 pound baby and my right leg weighs more than she does. I was terrified of having a big baby and getting torn to pieces. I scheduled a day to be induced. I wanted to make sure I had my family in the same state to help and enjoy this day with my husband and family. Day set, family flown in and we had our final appointment. Our dr had said that my blood pressure was slightly elevated and that I needed to come back that night and we would start the process. YES!!! Our son would be here before we knew it.
Its so interesting I still remember that day like it was yesterday. I am sure I will the rest of my life. We went to dinner with Keith (my step father. Although he is more like a real father to me. That is an entire different story) and my husband at the Olive Garden. I love pasta! I needed a few carbs to make sure I had enough energy to get me through the next few days...right???
After dinner we headed over to settle into our giant suite at the hospital. It was GINORMOUS! I felt like I was in a penthouse of a local hotel. (Ive never been in one, but if I had...it would look like this) We really could of had a high school prom in my room. Right smack in the middle of this huge thing was my bed and monitors. When we got there the nurse gave me this beautiful hospital gown (sarcasm) and told me to "undress and put this on". I have a question...why is it they can spend THOUSANDS of dollars on a room but spend $12 on a gown? Really? If they can't provide nice hospital gowns may I suggest you bill us for one? You charge us almost a million dollars for a birth a half way decent gown wont hurtcha.
Did anyone sleep the night before? I certainly didn't. The two Ambien they gave me didn't help either. I think it may have done the exact opposite to me AND Caden. It also didn't help that I kept removing the monitors on my belly and the nurse would come in and make me put them back on.
Emily and Adam were in the room with me that night. Both sleeping like babies. How I envied them.
That next morning bright and early my nurse came in and started the process.
Oh for the love of all.
Roll to your left.
Roll to your right.
Hike your left leg...Hike your leg right.
Sleep.
Breathe.
Sleep.
I need to pee.
Hour one down. I was already exhausted and the process just got started.
My first mistake was thinking that labor was easy. LIES! Its called LABOR for a reason ladies and gentleman. None of this is easy. Being strapped to a bed makes it worse.
Moving on.
As the day progressed and the Pitocin was being increased Caden wasn't liking it much. When they decided at around 12 that they were going to break my water his heart rate bottomed out created a big problem. After inserting a fetal monitor on the top of Caden's head and attaching a constant running stream of saline solution into my uterus and placing me on my left side Caden was back to a normal heart rate. At this point since I can't move from the position I was in I got a catheter. First time ever...I could have went my entire life never having one. Then the leg compression cuff went on...THEN the oxygen to my face happened...THEN the blood pressure cuff went on...THEN the oxygen level red light thingy went on my finger! Did you catch all that?
1. Constant stream of water into my uterus. (I felt like my water was breaking for 6 hours non stop)
2. Cath...YAY.
3. Leg compressions
4. oxygen
5. blood pressure cuffs
6. Red light on my finger
7. Lets not forget the 3-4 IV's I had
Oh and don't forget the contractions that are abnormally strong and unnaturally more intense...Lets just say I was slightly irritable.
Every single time I would have a contraction ONE of those if not all of them would go off. Finally I looked at the nurse and said...I can't handle all of these things on me. "If you are good and you keep your oxygen level up I will let you take the oxygen mask off"...Who breaths through a contraction! Not me I held my breath. Needless to say I didn't get anything taken off.
I think around 1 I asked for an epidural. I needed something to help me relax. I was having panic attacks. I was freaking out about Caden. Every contraction was making his heart rate unstable. (that is what unnatural contractions do to a baby) The Pitocin made me shake so bad I couldn't get my teeth to stop chattering. (Also another side effect) I couldn't rest. I couldn't relax. I wasn't progressing.
When I said those magic words it was like everyone stopped what they were doing and called "The Man" in a few short minutes he was there. I didn't care how big the needle was. I didn't care. At that point if they would have said "I am going to have to chop off a finger" I think I would have let them. During the process of getting the epidural you are told not to move or there could be bad things that happen. Yikes! When it started to kick in...I felt NOTHING below my lungs. Almost had a hard time breathing. (which is another side effect) However I was finally able to relax.
My mom jokes around and tells me that I have a low tolerance for pain, but let me tell you something. The nurse really did have it turned up high. Adam would ask about the line on the contracts and the nurse would tell him they were pretty intense. Contractions like that don't happen until the END. I was in the middle. They build up. I was miserable.
The epidural lasted an hour. I slept great. Then we had company. As Brooke was saying good bye she went to squeeze my foot and I felt it. She said "You shouldn't have felt that." She was right that's when things went south.
The epidural didn't happen right. Somewhere along the way it kinked. "The Man" came back in and gave me a "boost" it lasted a few short 10 minutes. Both him and my nurse looked at each other and were a little nervous. (I think everyone in the hospital knows a lot of meds aren't good for the baby, or momma, but they have you so cranked up on Pitocin you feel like you are trapped) I NEEDED another one. Adam signed another waver and they tried again.
The Dr came in and said "I am worried about infection setting in and Caden isn't handling the contractions well, I think we should do a C-section." It was 4:45. I had not even been in Labor an entire 12 hours yet and I felt like he had already given up on me. I think when I heard "infection" and "Caden isn't' handling the contractions well" I panicked. Wouldn't you?? First time mom here. I want a healthy baby. I don't care what happens to me. Slice me, cut me, take my belly and flip it over my face...I don't care just make sure my baby is alive. Right?
Off we went.
The GREAT thing about this was all the contraptions I acquired came off for an hour. It was great!
In the OR the epidural that I had, started wearing off again. I could feel things and I was moving my legs. That shouldn't be happening. As they were prepping me I could feel cold, I could feel them cutting, I could feel them moving things around. It was terrible and very scary. "The Man" looked at me and turned white and said "I can't give you anything else. We have to wait until the baby is out. I will knock you out as soon as he is here." The room started spinning and I could feel myself passing out. I just wanted to see my baby before I blacked out. I wanted to hear him cry! I wanted to make sure he was ok. "Please God let me hear my baby cry before I black out"
He put an alcohol swab under my oxygen tubes. Hoping that would help me not to get sick or pass out. They pulled Caden out and everyone was happy. I couldn't hear anything. Having a sheet over my face I was panicking not hearing him. Tears began to steam down my face thinking the worst. Why isn't my little guy crying! I looked at Adam scared something was wrong. "He is just fine they are just cleaning him off." Finally the sound every momma wants to hear. Those lungs wide open and the screams of their newly born little. Music to a mommas ears.
Then they showed him to me.
In that moment, a connection no one understands but new parents, was formed. Nothing else mattered. Not the pain. Not the blood all over the room. Not the vomit on my face. Nothing. I just wanted to hold my son. I wanted to place him on my bare chest and talk to him. Introduce myself. Just tell him how much I loved him. Stare into those eyes and smell his sweet smell. Hold this tiny little person that had grown inside of my belly for 9 months. I still can't explain how I could love someone or something I had just met. My entire universe I had known 15 minutes ago...had stopped and had changed to him.
We were finally parents.
The part no one talks about will be next.
Thank you for stopping by.
Did anyone sleep the night before? I certainly didn't. The two Ambien they gave me didn't help either. I think it may have done the exact opposite to me AND Caden. It also didn't help that I kept removing the monitors on my belly and the nurse would come in and make me put them back on.
Emily and Adam were in the room with me that night. Both sleeping like babies. How I envied them.
That next morning bright and early my nurse came in and started the process.
Oh for the love of all.
Roll to your left.
Roll to your right.
Hike your left leg...Hike your leg right.
Sleep.
Breathe.
Sleep.
I need to pee.
Hour one down. I was already exhausted and the process just got started.
My first mistake was thinking that labor was easy. LIES! Its called LABOR for a reason ladies and gentleman. None of this is easy. Being strapped to a bed makes it worse.
Moving on.
As the day progressed and the Pitocin was being increased Caden wasn't liking it much. When they decided at around 12 that they were going to break my water his heart rate bottomed out created a big problem. After inserting a fetal monitor on the top of Caden's head and attaching a constant running stream of saline solution into my uterus and placing me on my left side Caden was back to a normal heart rate. At this point since I can't move from the position I was in I got a catheter. First time ever...I could have went my entire life never having one. Then the leg compression cuff went on...THEN the oxygen to my face happened...THEN the blood pressure cuff went on...THEN the oxygen level red light thingy went on my finger! Did you catch all that?
1. Constant stream of water into my uterus. (I felt like my water was breaking for 6 hours non stop)
2. Cath...YAY.
3. Leg compressions
4. oxygen
5. blood pressure cuffs
6. Red light on my finger
7. Lets not forget the 3-4 IV's I had
Oh and don't forget the contractions that are abnormally strong and unnaturally more intense...Lets just say I was slightly irritable.
Every single time I would have a contraction ONE of those if not all of them would go off. Finally I looked at the nurse and said...I can't handle all of these things on me. "If you are good and you keep your oxygen level up I will let you take the oxygen mask off"...Who breaths through a contraction! Not me I held my breath. Needless to say I didn't get anything taken off.
I think around 1 I asked for an epidural. I needed something to help me relax. I was having panic attacks. I was freaking out about Caden. Every contraction was making his heart rate unstable. (that is what unnatural contractions do to a baby) The Pitocin made me shake so bad I couldn't get my teeth to stop chattering. (Also another side effect) I couldn't rest. I couldn't relax. I wasn't progressing.
When I said those magic words it was like everyone stopped what they were doing and called "The Man" in a few short minutes he was there. I didn't care how big the needle was. I didn't care. At that point if they would have said "I am going to have to chop off a finger" I think I would have let them. During the process of getting the epidural you are told not to move or there could be bad things that happen. Yikes! When it started to kick in...I felt NOTHING below my lungs. Almost had a hard time breathing. (which is another side effect) However I was finally able to relax.
My mom jokes around and tells me that I have a low tolerance for pain, but let me tell you something. The nurse really did have it turned up high. Adam would ask about the line on the contracts and the nurse would tell him they were pretty intense. Contractions like that don't happen until the END. I was in the middle. They build up. I was miserable.
The epidural lasted an hour. I slept great. Then we had company. As Brooke was saying good bye she went to squeeze my foot and I felt it. She said "You shouldn't have felt that." She was right that's when things went south.
The epidural didn't happen right. Somewhere along the way it kinked. "The Man" came back in and gave me a "boost" it lasted a few short 10 minutes. Both him and my nurse looked at each other and were a little nervous. (I think everyone in the hospital knows a lot of meds aren't good for the baby, or momma, but they have you so cranked up on Pitocin you feel like you are trapped) I NEEDED another one. Adam signed another waver and they tried again.
The Dr came in and said "I am worried about infection setting in and Caden isn't handling the contractions well, I think we should do a C-section." It was 4:45. I had not even been in Labor an entire 12 hours yet and I felt like he had already given up on me. I think when I heard "infection" and "Caden isn't' handling the contractions well" I panicked. Wouldn't you?? First time mom here. I want a healthy baby. I don't care what happens to me. Slice me, cut me, take my belly and flip it over my face...I don't care just make sure my baby is alive. Right?
Off we went.
The GREAT thing about this was all the contraptions I acquired came off for an hour. It was great!
In the OR the epidural that I had, started wearing off again. I could feel things and I was moving my legs. That shouldn't be happening. As they were prepping me I could feel cold, I could feel them cutting, I could feel them moving things around. It was terrible and very scary. "The Man" looked at me and turned white and said "I can't give you anything else. We have to wait until the baby is out. I will knock you out as soon as he is here." The room started spinning and I could feel myself passing out. I just wanted to see my baby before I blacked out. I wanted to hear him cry! I wanted to make sure he was ok. "Please God let me hear my baby cry before I black out"
He put an alcohol swab under my oxygen tubes. Hoping that would help me not to get sick or pass out. They pulled Caden out and everyone was happy. I couldn't hear anything. Having a sheet over my face I was panicking not hearing him. Tears began to steam down my face thinking the worst. Why isn't my little guy crying! I looked at Adam scared something was wrong. "He is just fine they are just cleaning him off." Finally the sound every momma wants to hear. Those lungs wide open and the screams of their newly born little. Music to a mommas ears.
Then they showed him to me.
In that moment, a connection no one understands but new parents, was formed. Nothing else mattered. Not the pain. Not the blood all over the room. Not the vomit on my face. Nothing. I just wanted to hold my son. I wanted to place him on my bare chest and talk to him. Introduce myself. Just tell him how much I loved him. Stare into those eyes and smell his sweet smell. Hold this tiny little person that had grown inside of my belly for 9 months. I still can't explain how I could love someone or something I had just met. My entire universe I had known 15 minutes ago...had stopped and had changed to him.
We were finally parents.
The part no one talks about will be next.
Thank you for stopping by.
my little dude. gwama loves you. I miss you soooooo much.
ReplyDeleteWe are so ready of another one
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